I have really been loving Chanel’s most recent ads with the bejeweled hair and Hepburn-esque LBDs. The first ad in this HB features one of my most favorite things- a poppy! Hooray for spring! This is a silk poppy on a purse and I want it.
I adore the metal bugle-bead exoskeleton look that Gucci is pushing for spring. Unwearable? Yes. But done on a smaller scale, it could be really flattering.
Madonna looks like a high-class hooker tutoring the next generation in this month’s Dolce & Gabbana ad. That’s probably not what they were going for.
Please add Bottega Veneta to the list of designers who can dress me anytime.
Shocking! Tommy Hilfiger is sporting stripes and nautical themes for spring. So revolutionary!
Lanvin still seems to think harem pants jumpsuits are acceptable.
If I ever become a trophy wife, I will lounge around in the sitting room attached to my walk-in closet wearing Ferragamo. And I will be happy.
Remember those ugly black sandals everyone had about 15 years ago that were all thick elastic and you can still probably buy them at Walmart? Donald J. Pliner has resurrected them, badly.
For all you Harry Potter fans, it looks like Estee Lauder is now selling Felix Felicis.
Marc Jacobs puts his transsexual fashion in a faux toilet, and the only part that offends me is the matching beaded scrunchy/ tiara on the model’s head.
HB recommends red sunglasses by Victoria Beckham to hop onto the Tribal trend this season. Because Posh Spice is so ethnic.
Another sign I am not HB’s target market: in the “Cheap Thrills” section for inexpensive fashion, they feature a $435 necklace and $245 t-shirt.
I think I have found a hateful replacement for the dreaded high-waisted pleated slouchy trousers: high-waisted belted pleated cuffed tailored sweatpants. Really. Sweatpants.
I curse the devils who are sending us to clog hell for spring and summer.
In the Buy Now Love Forever category we have harem pants and leotards. The category should be renamed Laugh Now Hate Forever.
Thankfully HB tells us that, contrary to Lady Gaga’s preference, pants are still important. Unfortunately, “Now we’re seeing the emergence of a fuller drop crotch. It’s new and fresh in luxurious fabrications.” Brought to you by the good people of Oops I Crapped My Pants.
I heart Jean Paul Gaultier: “I am the nun of the religion of fashion. Actually a mother superior.”